no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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