I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
