yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize