help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
