she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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