Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
