she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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