I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's rum buckets o'clock
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
