Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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