Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
