Already got asked if we're dating
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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