I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
