What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
