obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I believe in your delicious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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