my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize