VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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