shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
