he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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