Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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