I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
