Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
