do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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