i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
