Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
