Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
