yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex