He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
