It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
