I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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