Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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