A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize