I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
