The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
