it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
