"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
