Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
