Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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