I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
