white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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