so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
