Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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