just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
