Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize