I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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