All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
