ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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