I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
