Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
