I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
