Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
