If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
