Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
