you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
