People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
