I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
