he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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