we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
