I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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