please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
