I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
