ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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